Wednesday, November 16, 2011

525,600 Minutes

That's how long it has been since you left. Seems like just yesterday, seems like it was over 10 years ago. Every day I miss you. Everyday I want to pick up the phone and call you. Every time I go to the store I want to turn right to your house instead of left to mine. I still haven't been able to drive down your street. I am dreading Halloween cause tradition is going to your neighborhood. I don't want to spend the night crying.

This was my first birthday without you. No silly sign that says "Kiss another year Goodbye" No card carefully picked out. You did send me a tiny prism rainbow in the sky. I know it was you. And I smiled. Then I cried.

I don't think I ever told you Thank you. For being there when others couldn't. You know what I mean. For saving me and just sitting there when I knew I wasn't making any sense. Thank you for taking in my kitties when I couldn't, even though you said you hated cats. Thank you for being so great with my kids. They miss you and talk about you all the time. Thank you for all the help you gave me and my family, every kind of help. Thank you for the talks. For coming to my wedding. For the Golden Girls and Unsolved Mysteries. I love you, Grandma.
I want to go to the cemetary to leave you flowers but 525,600 minutes just doesn't seem like enough time. I am just not ready to say goodbye. And that would make it oh, so final. I will make it. Until then know not a day goes by without you somewhere in my thoughts, prayers. You will live forever in my heart and mine and the kids memories.

In daylights, in sunsets,in midnights in cups of coffee

525,600 minutes

How do you measure a year without you


Monday, November 14, 2011

It seems to be
that every time something starts going right,
and I think I am going to be ok
and that things may be looking up.
Every time I get my hopes up just a little.
Something happens and
it all comes crashing down.
Happy holidays to me.